Love Letter...From a Big Sister

The following is a text I received from Cori this past weekend. A love letter to her little sisters.
We were in Anchorage for a cheer competition while she had to stay home to prepare for a big volleyball weekend.

"Hey my beautiful sisters. <3
I just want you to know that I am SO proud of both of you!
No matter what place you get.
I wish I could be there, but I know you guys will be great, you always are!
You guys are always #1 to me!
Love you guys!
GOOD LUCK YOU LITTLE ROCKSTARS!"

Every now and then, you just know you're doing it right! It was definitely a proud-parent moment!
And you know what, she was right, They rocked it!

Tugging Heart-Strings

I haven't posted life's happenings in so long that I am unsure if many of you realize that we had a small addition to our family this past winter.

Now technically she isn't a permanent addition but we love her just the same. Little Annie was on loan to us beginning in January. And what a wonderful holiday gift she was. She was laughter, determination, curiosity, love and joy.

Cassi had the most wonderful teacher that a student or parent could ask for last year. And not only a fabulous teacher,  Marianne also became our friend. When it came time for her maternity leave to end and she needed someone to occasionally care for Anner-Bananers, as she is affectionately called here, we raised our hands (Actually we jumped up and down screaming!) and such my girls became sisters x 4!

When the girls learned that we would have the opportunity to keep her after school let out for the first days of summer, they were beyond excited!  Especially Cali Bay. She fed her, learned to change her, played with her and loved her! Oh gosh, did she LOVE her!

With Marianne being a teacher and having summers off, we knew we'd be handing Pippa-Loo (another call of affection) off sooner rather than later and we'd see her daily no more. Now those of us with a little more of life's wisdom knew that we'd be seeing her still, just not on a schedule. Those of us with a little less of life's wisdom had a harder time bearing the thought of the lack of scheduled visitation.

On the last day of our normal schedule we were a bit off, even the wisest of us all I must admit.  We played until the last moments, took lots of pictures, and gave kisses with reckless abandon.

That night, bless my baby's heart, she could stand it no more and came to me, sobbing, broken-hearted and sure the love of her little life was gone forever! Being prone to drawing her feelings, she came to me with this note.

She asked me if I would take a picture of her to send to Miss Annie, which I promptly did, but only because I wanted to some day remind her that even so little, the heart is an amazing vessel that can grow beyond any depths imaginable.

After I clicked one I reminded her that it might make Annie a little sad to see such tears to which she offered to take another photo,with a smile. She worked hard for this smile, a labor of love for the very being that stretched her heart to the seams.

Just today I learned that we'll have our little borrowed sister back again for scheduled visits, starting next week. Love abounds again.  <3

Blowing Bubbles- Fighting Cancer

I read about this Project of Love via a friend's blog. (or maybe it was facebook- something like that) 

I thought it was the perfect idea. My family (Scott's included) has had their fair share of experiences with cancer. And while many of them happened rather far away and therefore I was bit disconnected, or while I was rather young and again somewhat disconnected, I fully understand its impact now.

Last year I lost someone so dear to my heart to cancer.Throughout her battle with the disease, the harsh and devastating affects were felt throughout my being day after day. Once you are in a situation dealing with such a thing, it becomes very quickly clear how important it is to stay positive and focused on defeating the beast.

I remember very little about my Aunt having cancer years ago, I was young and naive about such things. What I do recall is a story she once mentioned about lying alone each night through her fight, imagining there was a pac-man inside her munching away all the little cancer cells. I made me smile then and I understand it so much more now.

When I read about the bubble blowing project (link above) and the imagery my friends Aunt was using, all I could think of was my Aunt so many years ago. My Aunt beat her cancer and I am so grateful. Others in my life have been less fortunate and while I am certain things happened as they were meant to, I wish I might have had this idea to offer some peaceful, youthful, happy, conquering, minds-eye fight to aid their counter-attack against such a dreadful disease.

When I read the post above, I almost immediately took the kids outside, explained what I thought they could handle absorbing about cancer and the importance of being able to visualize the removal of cancerous cells from one's body and how one could use bubbles to see it in their mind's-eye. 

The girls went at it with gusto. When I look at all the photos I took and imagined my little girls trying to battle something they could not possibly at this time of their young lives  fully understand I could only hope that if and when the day comes they need such knowledge they will remember this exercise and use it to help themselves or others. Love and positive energy are such powerful things, aren't they?

If you have the time, try it. And take some photos yourself. You never know when you might need such an experience to fall back on.  And what  wonderful lesson you'll be giving your kids in the process.

For those of you who read this blog and have battled your own cancer, be it you or with one you love, this post is for you.  Now go !POP! some bubbles.   :)

This is what I heard today...

...from Cali.
She said "We need to give a loving baby a loving home because the big eathquake shook them out of their Mommy's arms."
Love sounds a bit like this, don't you think?

The Momma in Me

I think LOVE looks and feels a lot like this!
The Momma in me feels this everyday. Do you?

Lookin' out for Sister

Cassi has been a bit under the weather. She has a horrid cough and she can barely speak with out being in pain. We've stuck fairly close to the house in order to let her relax and feel better.

Yesterday, out of the blue, Cali found these little individual heart pans. (Digging through the cupboards always reaps rewards!) She filled one of them with teddy grahams and carried them around a bit. Then she declared she was going to make a pie! I however wasn't sure how this was all going to come about.

She was adamant that I had to help her make a pie and that it would be for Cassi. To help her feel better. How sweet is that. So this is what we came up with.


We crushed those teddy grahams in a baggie. I gave her a rolling pin but she wanted a potato masher!


We added a little butter and smooshed it into the pan.



Being that I knew quick gratification was in order, we went with yogurt instead of pudding. And then, we figured out if we froze it, it would also soothe Cassi's throat! Genius!!


We let it freeze about a half hour. We put a little whip cream on it and Cali served it to Cassi.

This is everything I want my girls to be. Loving, kind, giving and helpful. Love looks a lot like this to me- what does it look like to you?

Struggling...Daddy is gone again.

We are struggling in so many ways, big and small. There are a lot of things going on around here lately. There are people in my life who are hurting a lot right now. I have friends who are very ill.

We are all going through changes and some days are tougher than others. I'm even struggling with writing my blog. Not the posting, per se, just writing words that I feel are well written and worth reading.

Mostly we are at a place where the best we can do is check in each day, pray a lot, and take it all one moment at a time. And so even if it isn't the best written or well titled, I write. The rest will come.

This morning Daddy left. It is always tough to watch him go. The big girls try so hard to be grown up about his departures but there are always tears left for me to dry when the plane pulls away. Cali struggles a little more with it and more openly.

On Scott's last trip away (not this one) Cassi had a really hard time for some reason. We always stand at the window and look for him in the plane windows. He isn't always easy to find, mostly because it is dark out.

He knew she was struggling with his leaving and I guess he was trying hard too lighten (no pun intended) her mood. He lit up his phone and held it to the window so we could find him easily. The girls got so excited and raced to get out my phone and do it back to him.



This all turned into a game of left to right, up and down, circles in the window. It was magic and for those minutes of waiting for his plane to taxi off, there were giggles and smiles.

He remembered the game this time and started it again when he got in the plane. Both big girls got out phones and started to play.
And I took a couple seconds to just be grateful for the small things. Making a special note to self, that all those small things add up something really BIG, called LOVE!

I think it looks a bit like this!